Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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