My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
