this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
