Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
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