I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
