if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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