I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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