don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
