I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
