she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
