She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
