Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
