but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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