he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Its about making memories worth repressing
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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