Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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