I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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