it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
