its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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