Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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