Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
