i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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