Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
