Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
