At least make sure they are 18
Why
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
