i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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