ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
