Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
