White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
