Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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