He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
