Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
