There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
worst night to have a conscience
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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