He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
