a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
