The maid of honor just puked.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
