Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
