at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
