And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
