Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
