Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I could fuck to npr.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
