I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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