I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
