is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
