just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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