I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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