it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
