Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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