Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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