We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
