I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
