Pappa wants mamma naked
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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