just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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