so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
operation have a gay friend backfired
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
